Ismark the Downer

Session 1
Goin' Campin

I should have written this a month ago.

Started Curse of Strahd! Party is Kreoss (human paladin of Arete,) Rikki Minaj (catfolk Court Bard,) Grombo (grippli Alchemist,) Russet Crowe (human Mutagenic Mauler Brawler,) and Nala (half-elf Divine Hunter) with her animal companion Donald Trumpf (why. Velociraptor.)

Everyone hung out at a campfire, sent north by a dude named Arrigal who they met in a bar, with a letter of "help please," and then got transported somewhere else, camp and all. I think they all fought a twig blight, and saw a weird lookin' tree. Mist makes everyone sleepy. Fire makes twig blights upset. Someone found a card that said "Druid" on it.

Nala found a path out, and the others helped clear it, while some were tangled up in living roots. Grombo climbed some trees and said fudge all that. Everyone left and found naked Shrek.

The group found a headless dead guy with another version of the first letter saying "hey actually y'all should leave." Rikki ignored cries from the woods, and looked away from all the tree-men she saw. The group passed some headless statues and found a sleepy, dilapidated town. A couple in town fought over a bag of pastries, and Kreoss took scratching damage. 

Everyone met Ismark, whose father is the mayor and is dead, and met a boring mute innkeep and a bunch of vibrant jerks. Rikki and Russet and Grombo got totally wasted, Grombo got some shiny things, and Nala/Kreoss started a quest without telling anyone. Also I think the vibrant jerks (Vistani) gave someone a traitor card. Foreshadowing!!!

Will they help bury Ismark's dad? What's up with his not-a-vampire sister Ireena? Can half the group get any more tipsy on terrible wine? Find out in 5 minutes when I try to remember what happened in the second session.

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Session 2
Oh yeah the house

Hey so last time everyone met Ismark and left with him and Mirabel, one of the colorful jerks, and saw a marching line of ghosts from a graveyard into the castle on the cliff. Them ghosts are those who tried to assault the castle but totally died there instead.

Everyone met up at Ismark's place and saw his sister and dead father, and Grombo made everything into wine. The group reluctantly agreed to bury Kolyan, Ismark's dad and also the mayor.

Suddenly, violence! Mist surrounded the house! 
* Grombo tried to make zombies happy with wine 
* Nala make wolves not attack her for a round, and also saw a super hairy muscleman let them in by clawing a wall down
* Kreoss murdered poor zombies with Ismark and Ireena then /quit because he had to leave early =(((
* Rikki let every dead thing in the room know they were bitches, and shot them bitches with her crossbow
* Russet punched a floating head off a balcony, and one-punched a lot of zombies before getting strangled by a hanged-man with a hanged-man rope

Strahd showed up and was all "ha ha I can make you guys do stuff with my brain," and Rikki threw a bar of soap at him, marking the only time in which someone playing Pathfinder has ever used the bar of soap in their class' kit. I think a bunch of people hid under beds. Also, I think a zombie used his laser-mouth to blow a hole in the wall. Double also, someone got another card but I don't recall which. I'll look it up later.

Will the group find out what those dumb cards do? Will they get drunk before attending a sad, sad funeral? How many bars of soap can Strahd dodge before one actually hits him? Will Ismark ever not me a total friggin downer? Maybe to all, and statistically the Strahd thing is: maybe 1 bar, maybe no bars. Questions answered.

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Session 3
Who likes graveyards

In this one I tested Rikki's ability to determine whether partying with the only happy people in a town of doom and gloom is safe or not. She decided it wasn't! Ismark told all of them to leave, and told the group to loot all their junk, because it's almost time for a rooooad triiip!

Nala and Grombo  looted the building, and Rikki packed up some bags and stole some clothes. Russet basically carried Kolyan's casket one-handed while Kreoss sort of helped there I guess.

Upon entering the chapel, everyone saw it was all destroyed and junk. People heard cries inside and saw rooms but no one really looked inside those. A priest sat on the one good piece of the last sittable pew, mourning the death of his son, who cried out about how hungry he was in the floorboards below. He had trapped his son in the basement, because he snuck out to go kill Strahd with a group, and returned as a vampire spawn. The priest prayed to his god for help.

Kreoss unchained the floor and turned his son to ash.

The priest agreed to help bury Kolyan, and people left to go deal with that. Rikki tool a literal cat-nap in the chapel. Outside, during the ceremony, people noticed a graveyard man, who opened his mouth all weird and undead started bursting out of the earth. Initiative, next time!

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Session 4
Definitely not us we do not like graveyards

This week, the group finished a graveyard combat! Donavich completed the funerary rites under the guidance of the Morninglord for Kolyan, while the group defended him from a skelly-ton graveyard lantern man.

The grave man resurrected a bunch of different kinds of skeletons and zombies, but was ultimately killed by an attack of opportunity I forgot to give Kreoss. Strahd showed up after a while and brought Kolyan back, proving that neither the Morninglord nor the dawn can protect you from his influence. Ireena killed her father after Rikki insulted him a whole bunch. Everyone's sleepy and ready to get the fudge out of the garbage dump Barovia.

  • Froggy hit 3 dudes with one bomb!
  • Kreoss killed a sort-of miniboss who I didn't give enough health or DR!
  • Nala shot a guy's tongue off!
  • Rikki told 2 dudes off about their fashion choices, and made them die again, this time on the inside!
  • One Punch two-punched a zombie like Team Rocket blasting off again, and got hit by every monster I put on the board apparently whoops
  • Ismark couldn't tackle for shit
  • Ireena tackled some tough shit

What are these stupid cards anyway? Where is Vallaki? Does anyone know how to get there? Why is Strahd such a jerk? I can answer none of these questions ha ha suckers

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Session 5
The Endening

Just for posterity, record-keeping, archiving, etc. This session the group dissolved!

Not really. Friendships dissolved and schedules happened and this group became Medusa-group instead as a sort of merger. Anyway. Writing this ~6-7 months late.

I recall everyone rested up and left, headed west. found a crossroads. Saw more scary treemans. Saw a hangman's post and a spooky raven. Found a camp with some of the Vistani hangin' out. Lady there wanted to talk to you all and have a weird dream sequence with Nala where she explained that the cards were your fates. You all gave her the cards you wanted, out of a set of 7 or so. She told you what they meant and pointed you in a direction. Three dictated tools to help you overcome Strahd. One was an ally who would help you in your endeavor. One was Strahd and the location of his, or your, demise.

I think Froggy and Russet got drunk and the angry cat one was scared/mad about something. Kreoss was also there and was in dreamsville.

And then we moved on.

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